dumb

BCSC: The Gunslinger Part 2

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!

Well folks, looks like us weary ol' gunslingers are at the end of our journey.  Or is it the end of the beginning?  Let's find out!  This week we finish up The Gunslinger by Stephen King, and do some real (and justified) mean girl-ing, get into some existential universe talk, and learn some new words.  Join us!

Next book up is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and we're dividing this one into thirds because it's humongous.  So read up to Chapter 14, which is page 278 or at 32% on an e-reader, and be ready to hear us flap our yaps about it on May 15.  Talk to you then!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO PART 1!

 

iTunes!            @KrissyPajamas!            @WB2045            @WillRogers2000!            Facebook!

You can also email us! Shmook@WB2045.com!

Lost Tapes: That Cowboy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRW_ms9Oxq0

Something like 3/4 years ago, Amanda Rich, a friend of mine, asked me (Will) if I'd help put together an audition tape for her. I wrote a little script and then decided to ask Bobby to help me out.

We threw out my script and made this.

Bobby is operating the computer in real time while Amanda is kind of telling him what to do, but mostly trying to describe what he's ACTUALLY doing.

So weird, so stupid, pretty sure it was useless for Amanda, but dammit is it funny.

WBKE - Episode 24: Lady and the Tramp

This week on WBKE, we're joined by an amazing musician named Anthony Walker for a conversation that covers a startling amount of ground. This episode is about twice the length of an average episode of our show, because I honestly enjoy everything we talk about. As long as this episode is, there's still more that isn't making the cut! I just didn't want to clip another minute, so enjoy our discussion of: Shitty writing, philosophy, animal behavior, little people working as bouncers, forming bands, and The Poops (a band Bobby is/used to be in). We also play a fucking badass game toward the end of the show which I'm calling "Are You a Nice Person?" It's genius, so enjoy that, because it'll definitely be coming back.

So let me tell you about Anthony Walker. About 4 years ago, I was at a bar and there were different bands playing small sets. If you've listened to the show before, then you know that I (Will) am not the friendliest/nicest guy, and you can probably imagine that I don't pay much attention to people I don't know. Even still, I remember a guy playing a really awesome set. His music was really immersive. It totally grabbed my attention. Not long later, Anthony got a job with me at Fridays, and I instantly recognized him as the musician from the bar (which is also significant, because again, if you listen to the show, you know I have a fucking horrendous memory). He was that good.

For a good long time, on the odd occasion that I found myself hanging out and drinking at Fridays, I'd get fucking wasted (because everyone bought me drinks. It ruled), and inevitably Anthony and I would get around to drunkenly talking about how awesome it would be to have a combination music and comedy show.

Needless to say, I'm fucking stoked we had him on the show. So please go to his Band Camp page where you can set your own price for his music (Anthony says you can get it for free, but he's nicer than me. Pay him.), and go to his personal website where you can info about him and links to a shocking number of sites like YouTube and Tumblr: Anthony Walker.

So back to the show:

Click here to listen straight from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Go search for "WBKE" on the FREE Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher!

Or for more detailed instructions, click here!

Let me remind you that there is going to be a LIVE WBKE this thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm eastern, over at Vokle! Go check out the site and get comfortable with it (search "Will and Bobby Know Everything" and follow us), and like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) to get an update about when we've gone live!

Also email us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com will comments, suggestions, or questions for us to talk about! Remember that you can speak directly to us while we talk, too! It's a video chat so get your webcam going and bring something to the table! It'll be stupid and fun!

Enjoy this week's episode, I did!

Also, at the end, enjoy Anthony's song "Call Me Custer," from This City Never Sleeps, which has been stuck in my head all week.

Allie and I painted our apartment today, and we were both walking around singing that song, so good. Also "Sundowners."

Booyeah.

LIVE EPISODE THIS THURSDAY! EPISODE 25 NEXT WEEK!

WBKE - Episode 23: Travel

This week on WBKE, my girlfriend Allie is back on the show to talk about her experiences in travelling around the world. One of them is mind-blowingly amazing, and I guess the other one is too...It's just also incredibly fucked up.

On the show, we typically try to separate repeat-appearances of a guest host by about 10 episodes (unless we're doing a two-parter). That being the case, the last time Allie was on the show was for Episode 13, and coincidentally the day this new episode is going online happens to not only be the day that Allie and I are moving into our first apartment together, but also on her 25th birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLIE!

So in all likelihood, as you listen to this show, Allie and I are setting up our place (including an office that I'll use as a fancy little recording studio)!

Maybe you want to help make her day by checking out her Etsy Store: Color Bloc!

But anyway, listen to this episode, it's so goddamn funny. I'm absurdly proud of it:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Or search for show on the FREE Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher as well as on basically any podcast database (like Zune...if for some reason you have a Zune)

If you need more detailed instructions, click here!

And we're getting pretty damn close to the date of the live show, which is Thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm eastern on www.Vokle.com! Go to the site now and get comfortable with it! You can watch the live show without signing in at all, or you can create  a Vokle account or just log in via your Facebook or Twitter accounts! You'll be able to submit questions for us to answer (either as text or a live video) and talk back to us as we goof around!

So like our Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) to get updates about when we're live and feel free to send comments or questions to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com

We really enjoy doing this show,  so if you like us, please help us spread the word about the show! If we make you chuckle, tell a friend or two to check us out!

Regardless, enjoy the show!

Episode 24 next week!

WBKE - Episode 20: Sports

Suit up, sports-fans, this week Bobby and I are joined by Michael Palmer to talk about the old pig-skin, hockey pucks, baseballs, and Air Bud! We try to come up with new rules for all major sports, we discuss the afterlife for some reason, and we also have a brand new segment from my sister Kristen, which we're calling Voice of the Nation with Kristen Rogers! It goes really well. Really well. Really well.

Anyway, here's some important information: Bobby and I are planning a LIVE SHOW!

On Thursday, June 28th, log on to www.Vokle.com at 8:00pm eastern time to watch us do a live show, taking real questions, from real listeners! Be one of them! You don't need to create an account, and you can log in via Facebook, so there's really no excuse for not being there. You'll also get to see the inside of my new apartment (this is Will), and maybe also see my girlfriend yell at me for embarrassing myself! Seriously, check that out, it'll be fun, it'll be like you're in the room with us!

Anyway, back to this weeks WBKE:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Find us on the free Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher!

Or click here for insanely detailed instructions for how to hear us!

No matter what, enjoy the show, tell your friends!

Now go like our Facebook Page, follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby), and email comments or questions (for the live show, too!) to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

Episode 21 next week!

FYL: I'm Shockingly Annoyed

I commonly talk about how I hate everything, but I'm happy to report that I don't think that's true. I hate a lot of stuff, sure, but definitely not everything. As a matter of fact, every once in a while, I look around and have to acknowledge that most people are more respectful and intelligent than I would expect. And like every other moment in my life when I feel at peace, something fucking moronic pops up that reminds me that people appear respectful and intelligent because they aren't saying exactly what they want to say, or doing exactly what they want to do. If you're at the grocery store, or you're at work, the people you see tend to keep to themselves, for the most part. Most people don't walk up to you and say something crazy. And that's because they're all just waiting to get home and go online before they say exactly what they're thinking or what they've been up to.

There's a website called F My Life, which basically everyone is aware of, but if you aren't, all you need to know is that it's where people go to post something that happened to them that sucked. It always ends with "FML," for "fuck my life." Here's a good example of a normal one:

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks (2076) - you deserved it (282)

There's a common format: "I did something expecting certain result. The result I got was surprising and shitty. FML"

People then vote as to whether or not you deserve those results. It's a simple system.

Like all simple systems, however, people have found a way to fuck it up and annoy me.

Look at this one I just saw:

Today, I found myself humming a Skrillex ditty all day. I'm beginning to wonder if I've had some sort of stroke.FML

I agree, your life sucks (1478) - you deserved it (690)

This is so stupid and weird. It's this guys' own fault that he's humming a Skrillex song. Regardless of his overall opinion of Skrillex, he must like that song! And everyone agreed that he has a right to complain?! Bullshit! This guy is a moron.

Every once in a while, I come across a stupid person's FML and I "star" it on Google Reader. So I thought maybe I'd share a few of the FML's posted by people who have no one to blame but themselves, either because they did something stupid, or because they are just dumb.

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

I agree, your life sucks (5238) - you deserved it (1622)

Bigger applause at the end of a concert means you did a good job, idiot. No one is allowed to complain about this.

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (3091)

You can't complain about something you consciously decided to do. More than that, I'm betting you didn't get the card to feel wanted, you got the card, you were feeling moody, and then you posted about it online all blown out of proportion to get people to pay attention to  you. It worked, which is unbelievable. Congratulations.

This next one was actually deleted from the website, but I still have it saved. You're going to have to trust me here, this is real, I swear:

Today, I realized exactly how lonely I was when I typed "I love you" into Google Translate, just so I could click the listen button and hear someone actually say it to me. FML

I have no way of knowing whether or not people agreed with this guy that his life sucks or not, but if I had to guess, everyone sided with him, because everyone is stupid. And this is stupid. And I'm annoyed further.

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks (17262) - you deserved it (9522)

You actually decided to go to a Hooters, and worse than that, you went expressly because you wanted to be served by ladies with big boobs. When that didn't work out, you were disappointed enough to write about it online? And everyone agrees that your life sucks because of that? Maybe it's good that you have such low standards.

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks (1324) - you deserved it (16535)

Wait, you got the outside of your lower lip tattooed? Why were you under the impression that tattoos fade? The reason we have Temporary Tattoos and call them temporary is because the alternative is a permanent tattoo. You deserve this, dummy. Thankfully people were able to see that as well.

Here's the last one, and it's a fucking doozy. It's incredible in how many layers of stupidity go into this:

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks (10685) - you deserved it (1278)

There is absolutely no way that McDonald's told you what not to order.

There is no way that some cashier put their hands on their hips and stared you down because they, for some reason, thought you wanted the girl's toy for yourself.

However, let's assume that's exactly that happened: You didn't explain to them that it was for your daughter? And then when you went home you explained to your kid that both McDonald's is shockingly rigid about who they give toys to and that you're a strangely cowardly person?

I'm not buying for one minute that this would be your kid's ONLY toy by the way. It's not like her happiness was truly dependent upon getting a My Little Pony.

Again, let's assume that's exactly the situation: Why didn't you go to another store and get a shitty little toy and pass it off? This whole thing just screams, "I forgot to ask for a toy, and when asked by my wife why I didn't have it, I blurted out a stupid excuse which, once said out loud, I have to stick to."

And wait a minute, did they give you everything in the kids meal except for the toy? Your story has fallen apart sir, and I think you posted this online to somehow legitimize your story to your wife, "Honey, if I was lying, would I have put it online??"

Why are people siding with this fuck up? Almost eleven THOUSAND people feel bad for this guy that supposedly some bored 17-year-old McDonald's cashier put their foot down that they DO NOT GIVE TOYS TO ADULTS!?

How is that possible??

I'm actually annoyed now, so I'm going to stop posting these.

I know it's unreasonable to be so grumpy over this bullshit, but I find it unbelievable, and no matter what, I'm definitely right about how stupid these are, right?