Horror

THE BLAIR WITCH video game revealed all the secrets!

download.png

Just a year after The Blair Witch Project hit theaters, a video game based on the series was released.

Most would assume the game was a cheap knockoff, but shockingly, this little-known game confirms some of the biggest questions of the franchise!

SPOILERS!

Having heard about the video game in the Now Playing Podcast review of The Blair Witch Project, I decided to look up the game online, and eventually I got sucked into watching a Let's Play on YouTube. It appears to play like a cross between Resident Evil and Myst, which is right up my alley!

There are actually three games in this series, released over the course of a month back in 2000. The first was called Blair Witch Volume 1: Rustin Parr, and as the name suggests, it focuses on the story of Rustin Parr, the child murderer mentioned in the original movie, and the character I theorized was the murderer of Heather, Josh, and Mike. This game takes place in the 40's, shortly after Parr turned himself in. A character named Elspeth "Doc" Holliday, a scientist who works for Spookhouse, a group specializing in supernatural cases, has gone to Burkittsville to look into Parr's claims that he was urged to kill by the Blair Witch.

Over the course of her investigation, Elspeth encounters possessed townsfolk, gets lost on looping trails in the woods, and, mostly shockingly, travels through time a solid 16 years before this year's Blair Witch film shows the witch's 4th dimensional hijinks!

Our first clue that events are playing out in a non-linear fashion is when Elspeth reviews an audio recording she had taken earlier in the game (that's right: EVP). She hears her own voice on the tape, saying something she's never said before. My ears perked up.

Not long after, Elspeth travels through the woods and finds herself at Rustin Parr's house. Lightning flashes, the screen goes totally white for a moment, and when the scene fades back in, Elspeth is still standing in the same spot she was in a moment ago, but things look different. There are leaves on the ground. After walking through the house for a bit, Elspeth takes a stroll into the basement, and that's when things get really interesting. There's a man standing facing the corner, and suddenly the sound of frantic screaming fills the house, and it sounds nothing like the stilted voice acting of the video game. No. It's the actual audio from The Blair Witch Project, and suddenly Heather runs down the stairs, holding her camera! 

Check it out below! This walk-through was posted by AdammusPrime on YouTube, and the action starts 20 minutes and 48 seconds in:

From here, things get dicey. Heather falls, holding her camera, just like she does in the movie, but suddenly her body fades out of existence and a translucent demon appears in her place! Did the demon attack Heather? Did she just pass out? The game leaves it as ambiguous as the movie does, but later in the game, there's a similar scene where the Burkittsville townies are suddenly replaced by their own translucent demon/ghost, so perhaps it just represents Elspeth time travelling or dimension hopping to a place where there are no humans. It's hard to say.

Regardless, the video game definitively shows that time is in flux in the Blair Witch's woods. How else could Elspeth from the 40's encounter Heather and Mike from the 90's?  Elspeth makes acquaintances with a man in the woods named Asgaya, who, upon hearing of Elspeth's encounters with mysterious time-hopping beings, states things quite clearly:

Mm, a convergence. When the path bends right, you can see this forest as it is in the past or as it will be in the future. There is no "time" when on these paths, only "place." They are present, past, and future all at once.

There you have it. Much like The Shining's Overlook hotel, all things happen at once. Rustin Parr's house is both still standing, and burned to the ground. Elly Kedward is there. Heather, Josh, and Mike are there. Most recently, James, Lisa, Peter, Ashley, Lane, and Talia have joined them.

But that's not all the game confirms.

Blair Witch Volume 1 concludes with a revelation about the evil that is in the woods. It's older than Elly Kedward, who legend would have you believe is the Blair Witch, the start of everything.

No, instead Asgaya again states that there is a creature in the woods, known to him as Hec-Aitomix. This is the creature who influenced Elly Kedward, Rustin Parr, and presumably many others to kill.

Elspeth: Are you saying there's more than one witch? Or that the witch isn't human?
Asgaya: Neither assumption is incorrect.

The evil in the woods is older than anyone knows, and it is so powerful and mysterious that it might just be beyond human comprehension. It might even be unstoppable.

Indeed we will meet another character being influenced by Hec-Aitomix, and Elspeth herself will work to save this person from befalling the same fate as those who came before.

Blair Witch Volume 1: Rustin Parr doesn't look like much, but it's shocking how clearly it reveals what is truly happening in the woods. I haven't moved on to Volume's 2 or 3 yet, but after seeing everything thing that Volume 1 confirmed, I'm very excited to keep going.

What do you think? Have you played this game before? Do you consider the story revealed to be "canon?" Sound off in the comments below! 

You should also check out the above video's description, because AdammusPrime wrote his own theory of what really happened at the end of The Blair Witch Project!

I thought I was done sponging The Blair Witch series, but I can't believe just how much there still is to explore!

THE FINAL GIRLS - A Slasher TV Show That Didn't Make The Cut

download (3).jpg

Last night I decided to give FOX's horror-comedy show Scream Queens a second chance, and I regret it. It is not a good show.

All it did was make me wish Jamie Lee Curtis' OTHER slasher show had been made...Don't know what I'm talking about?

Way back in 2013, Deadline Hollywood reported that Jamie Lee Curtis would be re-teaming with Halloween: H20 director Steve Minor for a new slasher show called The Final Girls.

The drama revolves around a group of girls who have, in essence, survived their own personal horror stories and are brought together by a mysterious older woman (Curtis) to channel the stress and scars of their experience for some greater good.

Somewhere along the line, the plan fell apart, and eventually a new show called Scream Queens starring Jamie Lee Curtis surfaced! I couldn't have been more excited, because obviously this was the same show, re-tooled, and finally it was being put on the air!

Nope.

Scream Queens is a loud, unfunny comedy show that loosely toys with elements of horror, but mostly it's packed full of scenes that feel more like music videos than anything else. The season 2 premiere starts with a flashback to a hospital Halloween party where the doctors kill a new patient so they don't have to work but can get back to the party. Yike...

It sounds like The Final Girls may have actually focused on the tropiest of tropes: the final girl who survives the slasher. What happens to her next? It sounds campy, but it was also reported that it would be a sort of drama. What happens when Laurie Strode assembles a group of women who have survived Michael Myers, Freddy Kreuger, Jason Voorhes, Ghostface, Jigsaw, etc? Do they fight new evil like some sort of Buffy the Vampire Slayer gang of warriors? Is there a new evil brewing to take out The Final Girls?

We'll never know.

One thing is for certain, it's a concept that had a lot of potential. Even if it wasn't incredible, anything would be better than Scream Queens!

Sound off in the comments below (there's a link there, I promise): do you like Scream Queens? What do you think of the concept of The Final Girls? I wonder what the main plot would have been, so if you have any ideas, feel free to share! GO!

"The Blair Witch" isn't really a witch! SPOILERS!

download (2).jpg

Over the course of 3 Blair Witch films, seldom has the witch made contact. As a result, debates are raging online: What exactly is the Blair Witch?
Here are a few theories...

SPOILERS!

  • She's a witch. A ghost witch.

The easiest and most obvious answer. With good reason. As a witch, who knows the true extent of her powers? She could alter the terrain causing the BWP and BW characters to walk in endless circles. She could manifest the piles of rocks and voodoo stick men. Heck, since she's been dead for so long, she could be invisible among them! Watching at all times, only interfering when necessary. In Blair Witch 2016 we even experience electronic voice phenomenon (EVP) with James, Peter, and their walkie-talkies. She makes contact through modern technology, and modern technology is altered by her mere presence. This option satisfies most of what happens in the first and second movies (though I'm still partial to my theory of the true killer of The Blair Witch Project), but to me it doesn't explain everything. Why does she sometimes have a physical form? We hear her lumbering around, and yet she's also able to sneak up beside your tent? And yes: why is she mimicking the MO of Rustin Parr? Sure, he may have been told by her what to do, but there's nothing to suggest that Elly Kedward forced people to stand in the corner!

  • She is an alien.

Hear me out. In Blair Witch 2016, the slow burn leading up to the attacks include scenes of James, Lisa, Peter, and Ashley experiencing lost time. Anyone whose seen even just the first episode of The X-Files knows that a clear sign you've been abducted by aliens is discovering that hours or days have gone by in the blink of an eye. What happened to you during the missing time? Who knows! Toward the end of the movie, James and Lisa also experience a brilliant white light emanating from outside, calling to mind images of UFO's landing. I've heard some people say it might be daylight occurring rapidly, which would explain why they're lost in a perpetual night, but that light doesn't resemble a sunrise or sunset, it is stark white. Otherworldly. Could it be that James and co. were abducted when they experienced lost time, and now they're on a totally different planet? Maybe even inside some gargantuan ship! Don't laugh, they plant clues!

  • She is a wendigo.

Personally, I wasn't familiar with the story of the wendigo until I played last year's horror video game Until Dawn, in which we encounter a monster with elongated limbs, gaunt/pale features, who has the ability to mimic voices. Sound familiar? In The Blair Witch Project, everything concludes in that old abandoned house, with the sounds of Josh screaming and Mike attempting to run to his rescue. However, we all know that Josh is dead, because Heather opened the bundle of twigs containing his teeth and other organs. Heather kept this information to herself though, which meant the wendigo was able to trick Mike. In Blair Witch 2016, we catch pretty clear glimpses of "the witch," and we can make out her long limbs and pale skin which the locals explain with the myth that Elly Kedward (said to be the Blair Witch herself) having been hung with rocks tied to her arms and limbs, stretching her on a makeshift rack. Wendigos are also said to be cannibalistic. Could that be why she so violently takes people? We know she doesn't only attack the living, as Peter, Talia, and Ashley were seemingly dead when she came and took them. She has to eat. (BONUS THEORY: With Lane trapped in the woods for perhaps years, wouldn't he have to eat as well? I didn't see any animals in those woods, but being untethered from time, he could theoretically revisit James and Lisa's camp to find "food.") Of course, this doesn't explain the trippy circular paths that bring you back to where you started...

Which brings us to...

  • She is all of the above and more! By which I mean: she doesn't exist.

Here we go:

The above theories each explain SOME of what we've seen in the movies, but not ALL of it. I think it's possible that Elly Kedward was just one in a long line of people enchanted by the woods, and that the woods are something like The Overlook Hotel in The Shining. It's packed with a multitude of monsters, each up to it's own business. Sure, Elly may be in there, but then so is Rustin Parr. So is a wendigo. The characters of The Blair Witch Project, Book of Shadows, and Blair Witch 2016 have encountered several different entities all under the guise of it being the work of one: the witch. I chalk it up to the power of myth. For example: lets say there is a wendigo in the woods. Someone saw it's long limbs and lived to tell the tale. It was eventually woven into the story of the Blair Witch by adding to the story the idea of her limbs being stretched by rocks hung from her arms and legs. The legend evolved. It grew to cover more of what is out there.

The entire Blair Witch franchise starts with the power of folklore: literal interviews with townies each giving their own version of whats in the woods. It's the opportunity to present the legend of the witch on film that gets Heather, Josh, and Mike out there, but what they find defies what they think the witch does. As viewers we're left trying to interpret what we saw. We saw something too complicated for any one story. Or, at least, too complicated for the stories the Burkitsville locals share. Maybe there was a "Blair Witch" at some point in history, but I don't think you can point to her as the cause of everything we see. Essentially "The Blair Witch" is not one person, but several paranormal entities contributing to one legend!

The Blair Witch franchise is only about the witch in the sense that it's about how limited we are to understand the evil. It's a chimera, it's eldritch horror, it's incomprehensible. Sure, maybe it's one ancient creature, maybe it's the woods itself, or maybe it's a hoarde of beasts, and which ever one finds you first gives you another piece of the puzzle. Regardless, I think it's clear that The Blair Witch franchise is content to leave everything up to interpretation, ensuring that people will continue to debate the truth forever.

What do you think? Feel free to tell me how wrong I am in the comments below! I'd love to hear your reasons for why a theory does or doesn't work, and I hope you share a theory I've never even considered!